Peace. Serenity. Grief. I am feeling all this. Sex addiction is a baffling, cunning disease. And I battle it everyday. I resisted the temptation of acting out last night. It was right in my face. And 8 months, heck even 2 months ago I don't think I would've been able to resist. He was persistent, and over a year ago the roles were reversed and I was the one pursuing him. Do I need to finish what I tried to start? No. That is a lie that I have believed since I was 15 and took advantage of by a guy friend. I am in charge of my body. I have a right to do with it what I want and keeping it as a temple of the holy spirit is imperative to me. I am more proud of myself for not giving in than I can even explain. But now I'm feeling a heaviness. Maybe even a wish that I would've given in. To get that hit. But I can get filled by working my outer circle. Blogging, calling women in program, and praying. I know that this is what I need to do and that saying no it will only get better.
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